OCTOBER 31, 2022 – Life. Pretty deep stuff in and of itself. I’m not focusing this blog on “LIFE” so much as the DEEP STUFF we tend to get into … in LIFE.
YEAH..that was kinda deep. I guess what I’m trying to do if find a jumping off point for something I wanna say to get your attention. I’m not good at it but I tried. So, let me just dive right into the deep end.
SEE WHAT I DID THERE. LOL
This last month and a few days I have been trying to dig my way out of a project I started over 20 years ago. My genealogy! Now, it isn’t everyone’s cup o tea, I know. I have been told along the way, many times, to “let it go”, “don’t go asking about XXX”, or “be careful researching XXX”. My standard answer is always, “why? I am not trying to hurt anyone and if there are things in the past that were buried I’m not digging. If it was buried right, it can’t get dug up.” All of that being said, I pushed ahead and researched. I have hit many brick walls and gave up along the way. I got sidetracked and fell down the proverbial black hole of people that turned out not to be related. I have discovered one thing along the way…all of our lives intertwine.
Along the way, I did learn fascinating things about human beings. There seems to be a common theme amongst humans and that is the desire to know more than someone else. To become powerful, even if it is just in a small group setting. Many of the battles I read about started because of one individual that wanted to assert themselves into the big war. Humans have this almost sick addiction with being in control. We want to control the narrative on everything. Heck, this blog is an example of that very control. It’s like we are born with this need to show others that we are superior in some way to them. Personally, I don’t think I have ever really gave a crap about being ‘superior’ so much as being in control. I admit. I like to make sure things go the way I expect them to. I like to have some sort of ‘order’ among the ‘chaos’ of life. Who doesn’t? Are you being honest? As I stumbled across roots right here in the county I reside, which is NOT where I was raised, I cannot help but think of my daddy saying, “..Kentucky isn’t God’s country“. Even better, while helping load up my family to move to Kentucky, my baby brother said, “I would come visit you if there are churches nearby“. That hurt my feelings then and now. I wish they had never said those things. [BTW baby bro has visited once in 25+ years and there were no churches involved.] What I am trying to get across here is did I entertain their attempt to control me? NO! Did I think they were showing their ignorance? YES! Did I think they were close minded and hypocritical as “Christian men”? YES! Does this make me ashamed to be related? NO. What I DID do is not allow the beliefs of others I love discourage me from what I believe. We all deserve to have an opinion and/or belief and EXPRESS it. You have control over how you RECEIVE it.
I have managed to reach the point in my genealogy research that I call, “present times”. By this, I mean I am documenting information about individuals that I actually met at one point in my life. Okay, not all of them, but I “COULD” meet them because they are among the living. I’m starting to see 1900s instead of 1800s in my birth and death dates. Seen a few 2000’s too. I’m also learning that there is ONE very valuable asset that would make genealogy research so much better. What is it you ask? Something that goes really DEEP. Something that will give us an idea of WHO the individual is as a person. I mean, things like, hobbies, likes, dislikes, were they physically fit, favorite foods, what made them laugh, what was their laugh like? Were they left or right handed? What attracted them to their partner or partners? What were they like as a parent, involved, nurturing, demanding, or emotionally cut off? What made them angry? What made them happy? Were they creative? Were they tall or short? What color eyes did they have? Did they have big hands and feet? These are all things that would be fascinating to know about our ancestors then and now because it goes deep into us as a human beyond DNA. Think about it…years from now when some kid decides to learn about his/her ancestry, they will have all our social media posts, to get inside our heads. Just like this blog that gives me a voice beyond my head or Instagram gives someone else ideas of what I see. One day, there will be someone that reads this stuff and says, “wow, she was kinda off her rocker”.
The point I’m trying to make here is, it seems that no matter what I get myself into to occupy my brain, it seems to always be some pretty DEEP STUFF. I won’t list all the things I have gotten wrapped up in, but if you know me, you know. Maybe it’s my curiosity, my desire to control the narrative or my strong desire to not be forgotten in my days. Not that I’m going to start any sort of historical battles, but I do see that I have this desire to stand up and fight for what I believe to be right. According to my research, there are a lot of my ancestors that were the same way, just as there were a few that left nothing more than their name behind.
All of this deep thinking has me ready to move on to something else. So…I am going leave you with YOUR own DEEP STUFF….
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