July 7, 2021 – So…seems that no matter how much I *WANT* to keep this blog AND podcast going I find a way to get distracted. I have material in my head but to sit down and write it out or record it takes time. I really wish I could find a way to blog/record throughout the day when the thoughts pop into my head.
I am kinda slow at work, I mean the workflow is slow and I’m so fast, usually getting everything done by lunch time. So, I have a few minutes of my lunch, before I dive into something, to blog some thoughts.
Today, on the top of my mind is a topic most of us are familiar with…. YE OL NEIGHBOR! Now, I realize there are some very fortunate people out there that DON’T have neighbors. I salute you! I have always wanted a home tucked away in the woods, unable to be seen from any direction except the sky. Sadly, I don’t have that…yet!
So, like the rest of us chasing the “American dream”…we bought our first home in a typical American subdivision because we wanted our kids to have a social life. We took the ‘will I like my neighbors’ gamble and for the most part, until 2019 we were blessed. By 2019, most of the kids in the vicinity of our corner in the court had grown and moved on. It was fairly quiet most of the time. Grand kids visited neighbors and our own ‘adult’ children would come and go into the late or early hours to/from work or out socially. We always stayed on our corner regardless.
We had pretty good neighbors. Some moved on and their replacements were equally good. We have the ones we never see outside. The ones we see only from door to car, a wave and maybe a holler across the road. We have the neighbor that we can yell across the street in a lengthy conversation.
During the infamous ‘lock down’ we got to see some of the neighbors more and yeah, we stood in the streets talking…comparing our ‘lockdown’ woes.
What really shook our world was the news of new neighbors in April 2019. I remember it all too well. Our wonderful neighbors became empty nesters and decided to move on, sell and downsize. That meant, we inherited new neighbors. I hated seeing the various potential new occupants going in/out of their home.
Around late March, I saw yet another potential new occupant visiting. I was out walking our dogs. Just happened to come around between our homes as the lady was standing on the porch. She politely told me “your dogs are pretty”, I “thanked” her and moved on. Noticing the car that had just arrived, I saw a younger lady and two, elementary age kids, get out. Then, a large truck with an elderly man arrived, parked on the street just between our homes and got out. I thought, “maybe the elderly couple is helping the young lady and kids find a home”. Made sense. Why would an elderly couple need a 2 story, 4+ bedroom home?
Fast forward. Our wonderful neighbor informed us that they sold and were moving. The vague description we had of the new neighbor led me to believe it was the lady and the 2 kids I had seen. Then….as time went on we learned it was the whole pack!! The court was going to have young kids again. Ok. No biggie really. So we thought.
About a year went by and we had yet to have any exchange with the new neighbors. Why? Well, from what we witnessed it was best we didn’t. Turned out, the new occupants were the elderly couple AND the small children. The younger lady I saw arrive with the kids was never seen on the property again. Not to say we sat 24/7 watching their coming and going but we notice things.
Things we noticed wasn’t good. I personally witnessed the verbal abuse of the elderly man. The way he talked to the elderly lady was uncalled for and it really pissed me off. Knowing that if he and I locked horns it would be a Hatfield vs McCoy 3.0 – it was best I not engage. His attitude carried over into this driving as well. There were many times I would witness him coming and going thankful that I wasn’t in his path. For example, as I mentioned, we are on a corner. I like to sit on my porch and watch the world go by. It can be entertaining and educational. Watching him certainly is. Once, I remember his approach, which can be heard from the next block. The familiar engine rev didn’t slow as he reached the court and turned the right turn. Rear wheels were full on the curb, making a loud clunk as it jumped on, off and on and off again. Cringing for the safety of my mailbox – I watch. Then his rig disappears behind our cars parked in our driveway and I can hear his front tires as they practically launch from the road to his driveway and he stops. He’s parked and we can now plan our departure if we need to. Trust me, we have done that! If we hear his rig start up, we delay our departure because we know he is going to run all over us. He has left the court squealing tires!!!
There was one time I got caught on the roadway at the same time as this guy. Unbeknownst to me he was behind me on my way home from work one day. There was NO mistaking my car, he had to know it was me. His, well…it is easy to miss, it is black and blends in with the rest of the trucks and it was behind me. I made my turn onto the bypass, glancing behind me I saw a silhouette of a black truck but didn’t think much about it. I merged from left to right lane after a few hundred feet, noticing the black truck approaching. About a quarter mile from turning into my neighborhood, I looked up and could see a black truck coming on fast. My signal was on folks! Again, my car was NOT easily mistaken, he had to know it was me. Out of nowhere he flew around me last minute cutting me off and making the turn into the neighborhood without a signal one and barely braking. As we made the journey, ultimately to the same destination, he ran 3 stop signs. I was about 4 car lengths behind. I was pissed no doubt. The gauntlet of cars on the streets made me take it slower, as I wasn’t going to push my luck and try to catch the asshat . I knew where he was going! As I arrived home he was just getting out of his truck. The kids were already at the door. I admit, I was vocal. Either he didn’t hear or he ignored me. I got inside and fuming as I told my husband of the encounter. It wasn’t 10 minutes later, we heard him leaving – squealing tires out of the court. Maybe he had a family emergency or something but damn!! Use emergency flashers or wave and mouth “SORRY”… or something!!!
Now our encounters have not just been with the reckless driving and hot temper of the old man. We like to work in our garage on projects. We rearrange it often too. We have been deeply into our task only to look up and see a kid or two standing in the doorway just staring at us. We are startled and without thought we find ourselves yelling at them to leave. They never speak. They just stand there. If we have our cars all in the driveway they will sit on their bikes at the end of the driveway, on the sidewalk and look in between the cars and watch us. Never speaking.
When they do speak, it is a reflection of their homelife. One time, my husband was walking the dogs. One of the boys looked directly at him and called him a ‘shit head’. About that time, the elderly lady happens to step out and call the boys. My husband informs her of the language and she was clearly upset…but not really shocked by the behavior. We have been in the garage and hear the kids dropping F bombs. The lady would call them to the porch, fuss and make them sit. They are clearly out of control and need a really good mouth washing. I can honestly say, all the kids combined that played in the court prior to these two weren’t nearly as rowdy and mouthy. I had only one instance that I took it upon myself to call out a neighbor kid for language…many, many years ago.
Last September we were in the garage. I was helping change the oil or something and had taken a moment to sit down and just look out. The house at our 2 o’clock were having some sort of gathering. There were people leaving and a table with what looked to be food trays on it in their yard. The last of their guests and the couple went inside leaving that table and some small toys in the yard. I noticed one of the kids next door making his way towards their yard. He parked his bike IN THEIR DRIVEWAY BETWEEN THEIR CARS. Walked slowly into their yard. He stood…looking around. Then he looked down, picked up something bright orange. He looked around the table and turned toward me. He and I locked eyes. He proceeded slowly to his bike while looking at me. I wasn’t loud but the echo from the garage helped project my voice as I described to my husband what I was watching. I said, “he better learn to stay in his own yard”. He heard me. He was about half way between me and the house, riding his bike into his driveway. He dropped the bike and slowly made his way inside. All the while I was making it clear that I saw and disapproved of his behavior.
Just recently, we were outside. Noticed that the next door boys were not home but there was a lot of kids riding around in the court. The boys arrived and all of the kids disappeared. Later, a few came back out and we heard one of the kids say “you better return it you know you stole it”. We looked up to see the exchange and it was a kid from across the street talking to the kid next to us (not the one that was in the yard I saw).
Another time, again, we were outside. July 4th weekend as a matter of fact. That Sunday, hubby had the shopvac going and I was looking down at my phone. I could see out of the corner of my eye a kids’ feet walking out the driveway next door. I didn’t look up at that time. I was deeply into my silly post on Facebook. Suddenly, I felt a strange feeling. I looked up and found myself looking right at the kid, standing in the court holding his bright orange nerf gun pointed right at me! YES.. I know/knew it was a toy. That didn’t matter. I was upset by the fact that he would stand in the street and point even a toy gun at us. I didn’t scream or yell, the shopvac would have drowned me out anyway….but I physically pointed to his home and said, “you better take your ass back in that house and never point that at me again”. By that time, the boy was walking slowly towards his house. My husband asked what he missed, I told him and he looked up, and even with the shopvac you could hear his words, “that is a good way to get your ass shot”. The kid heard it. He made his way inside. We braced for the wrath of the adult. The feeling of confrontation was looming. About that time, here came speedy elderly man into the court. He stopped by the curb and out came that kid with a different toy gun, looked to be a water gun…and pointing it right at them into their truck windows…saying he “was going to shoot them”. FOLKS… that is why we have so much gun violence .. .TEACH THE KIDS NOT TO POINT AT THINGS THEY DON’T INTEND TO HARM!! DON’T DO IT IN A THREATENING WAY.. it’s one thing to play water or nerf wars, we did it with our kids…it’s another to stand and just point and threaten. NO there was never an encounter with an adult. I suppose the kids know they are wrong and know better than to tell on themselves.
Fast forward to currently. We have a guy, a wonderful guy, who mows our yard. He is not a controversial guy at all. He has worked with kids and is good with kids. He is super nice and very trustworthy. We were talking to him and he asked us why our neighbor runs that generator next door and what is up with his looking at him like he does? So, folks it is NOT us.
Another incident comes to mind. I happened to be sitting near the window in my living room. I saw the neighbor boy on his bike across the street riding in neighbors driveway. The driveway was empty, they were clearly NOT home. Ok. Not really a harm but I noticed. Then a while later, I saw that same kid walking around in their driveway. He was acting suspicious. He was touching things that really seemed awkward, like the baseball training device hanging from the basketball goal? I mean, who walks up and randomly grabs it, holds and and let’s it go. Then he walks around looking like he is worried someone is going to sneak around the corner on him. He walks out of my view and I get up and walk outside on my porch. I stand at the door watching as he makes his way towards the back of their house (again, they are NOT home). He is walking slowly…stopping and looking back and forth as if he was expecting someone to jump out. Then, he sauntered out of view behind the house. I waited. Looking for him to reappear. He did and in his hand was a gun (a toy I presume). He happened to look right at me and stop. He could hear me when I said, “what are you doing? If that isn’t yours I suggest you drop it! They are not home and you don’t belong in their yard.” He immediately dropped the gun and walked towards his home. I watched him the entire way. I texted the neighbor who wasn’t home.
This is the type of stuff that I thought only happened on TV. We’ve never had an issue with neighbors. Apartment or townhome…never. These neighbors are clearly in their own world and don’t belong in suburban America. They need to go back to the country. We haven’t even talked about the entertainment of them and their fifth wheel camper. Folks…you haven’t had your Saturday or Sunday torture until you have to listen to a generator hum all day, sometimes both days! We work all week, just like the rest of the hard working American’s including these neighbors….and to have to listen to a generator is down right taxing on the nerves. I mean damn!! Plug an extension chord up to the camper like the rest of the neighbors do!! I wanna jump their poor excuse of a fence and destroy the generator. Let’s not even begin the stories on their hooking it up. I mean, it’s great that he has the resources for such a luxury item but he clearly does not have the etiquette.
To all of us…be a GOOD neighbor. You never know what you are doing that might send someone off into a tailspin or cause harm to others. The streets are not YOURS. Quit racing through life thinking rules don’t apply to you. Go find a proper place to ride that expensive side-by-side NOT IN A NEIGHBORHOOD with radio blaring on a lazy Sunday. Get the go-cart off the roads!! Find a place for your kid to go ride and REALLY enjoy the go-cart life. Stay in your yard unless you are invited into others. You honestly don’t know people and if you think you can wander into their zone you could be deadly mistaken. Teach your kids to respect themselves, others and guns!! Don’t point even toy guns at people. SURE…during a friendly game when others have water or nerf guns it happens. LEARN and TEACH the difference. If you see something, speak up! It’s a sad fact, kids today are not always getting the parenting at home and society has to step up. Parents, if you don’t want society stepping up, you STEP UP!
CLIMB ABOARD MY SOAPBOX 