So, back story here really quick…this is a PERSONAL experience that I have found rather unsettling and I am trying to figure out…
HOW WOULD YOU PROCESS THIS?
I come from an average American family – skeletons and all. I grew up with pretty strict parents, a hard working dad and a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t get away with much, not that I didn’t try like all kids. My teen years were about the same. I didn’t even *attempt* to give in to peer pressure drinking or the like. I knew I wouldn’t get away with it.
Fast forward to after graduation. I had to get out of the nest. Maybe I could have handled it differently, but having been fed up with “parents” and trying to “find myself” I did what I felt would get me out. I took off to live with an aunt. The aunt that mom had often said, “I should have been the daughter of “. She understood me. She made me sit with my daddy and discuss the reasons for my choices and we were in agreement. Now this aunt was, as I said, always there for me growing up. She didn’t treat me like a kid. She always understood me.
A short time passed and I landed a good job (for a high school graduate). I then found myself in need of a car (that is another blog). I purchased my first vehicle all on my own! Sadly, family relations were not great around that time, which drove me to make the purchase to begin with. Emotions were high and feelings were hurt. While I was simply trying to find myself, parents were wanting to hang on tight, very tight. Sadly, I had even been accused of being under the influence of drugs by those who “loved me”. I laughed it off, though I was angry. The worst I had done was try alcohol. These people didn’t really know me.
Fast forward about 30+ years. Thanks to the internet, a long lost cousin and I are back in contact. This cousin is significantly younger and was never really in my life extensively, as I said, our family is an average American family – skeletons and all. After small talk and catching up we dig deep into things we both need answers. Mostly on my part. What I didn’t know was this cousin had questions as well. I was asked,
“..did you really smoke weed when you had that bad ass truck (that first vehicle)?”
I was absolutely floored. I stared at my screen. I didn’t know what to say. I mean I knew the answer; but this led to more questions on my part. I didn’t want to attack. So I simply asked, “Where did you hear that?”. Watching as the three little dots bounced expecting one thing but seeing another. The answer I got took my breath away. I looked at the screen with disbelief. I am still struggling to process it. The answer was the one person I never expected – that aunt. The one that I was suppose to be the daughter of. The one person that I trusted. The one person that I thought truly loved me.
Of course, I responded with an emphatic “NO I have NEVER done drugs of any kind aside from motrin or alieve”, if I even remember to take them. I also responded with another source I was expecting to have been the answer (because I knew that person had made those accusations) and it was confirmed that person also said it but the cousin was being sensitive and not wanting to just throw that one under the bus.
So, folks… HOW WOULD YOU PROCESS THIS?
SIDE NOTE: I do not have *ANY* contact with *EITHER* of the persons referred to in this revelation. Ties were cut for other, more hurtful and personal reasons a few years ago. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about these people. I have forgiven them for their hurtful words and actions. I am at peace because I know the truth. I am sad to admit that I am too trusting, because for 30+ years I maintained a relationship with an aunt believing our relationship was special. Finding this out now only makes me realize that perhaps cutting ties should have been done much earlier.
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