Ya know how we try NOT to let things “bother” us, we “pretend” those that are out on Earth to get under our skin aren’t successful.? Well, I do that a lot !! Can’t tell it by my posts I guess. But reality is, if I wrote about everything or everyone that got under my skin, my days would never be long enough. Why do we do that? Why do we stress out like that? Is it because we want change? A perfect world, we know does not exist? Are we continuing that cycle of bothersome behavior by complaining?
I’ve found myself lately saying “it’s okay, I can’t change things, it doesn’t impact my life that much”. But, I believe that putting things “on the back burner” only allows it to sit and brew longer. It eats away at us. We store the memories until something triggers it. Some people can go through life and never recognize that trigger…unfortunately that leads to health problems. Some may say I look for the triggers. Maybe. I just feel that I look outside the box a lot and I don’t own rose colored glasses. I don’t have any health related illnesses or ailments. Doctors say I’m a very healthy fat person.
All this having been said, I’m deeply frustrated with myself. I regret not being more assertive in a situation that would have had a major impact in my kids’ lives. I can’t give specifics, for fear of retribution, but when it comes to family and close friends, I tend to try to always do what is proper for the moment. I forget to look forward and think about the “what-ifs”. I’m frustrated that these same players have been successful at driving me to silence. They have also been made to look credible as a result of my choice to bow out.
CLIMB ABOARD MY SOAPBOX 